A leaked video selfie from the Trump Presidential Compound at Mar-a-Lago reveals how much pain Donald John Trump feels over his complex and evolving relationship with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. He details every step of their political alliance in the purloined digital evidence.

First, Trump says, “In 2018, I plucked DeSantis from obscurity by endorsing him in the Republican primary for governor.” The twice-impeached former president, who now calls Florida his home, continues, “DeSantis won, after running theatrical ads showing him reading bedtime stories about me to his young, impressionable children. Nobody dared to call this child abuse.”

Building on that success, Trump asserts, “I planned to groom Ronnie Boy for bigger and better things after I completed my three terms as president.” The constitution only allows Americans to serve two terms as president. But Trump believes he is entitled to a third term because Democrats hounded him for four years with the “Russia witch hunt.”

Despite constant pressure from Democrats, Trumps insists he always found time to nurture his political soulmate. He says, “I even let DeSantis sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom every time he came to the White House to learn from me and kiss my ring.” Trump adds that “DeSantis continued to show me respect until Fox News millionaires and billionaires started making him a guest star on their nightly cable broadcasts. Now Ronnie Boy gives nods to the MAGA crowd but tries to steal my righteous rightwing thunder.”

Trump also states in his video that Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene shared some important information with him. In the leaked video, Trump states, “MTG, bless her big heart, told me that I need to stop saying that I groomed DeSantis for the presidency after I leave the scene.”

Apparently Greene warned Trump that some Republicans have taken the word groom and turned it into a vicious attack on Democrats who opposed the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill that DeSantis recently signed into law. Trump explains, “Marjorie told me that DeSantis pugilist Christina Pushaw published a tweet in which she suggested that people who oppose the law are either grooming children, or allowing children to be groomed for pedophiles to exploit them.”

The shocked former president, who says he feels nothing but love for his fellow Americans, concludes by asking, “What has become of my beloved GOP? It’s not pretty to watch the people who want to replace me in 2024 turn a great party into a supporter of bigoted and hateful rhetoric.”