I am writing this in response to the New York Times Article “No One Really Understands the South” op-ed. As a 20+ year veteran of the south, I have some thoughts. While the author talks quite a bit about the structure of the Democratic Party in the South, her answer leaves out the majority of the reason why any Southern stays in the South. Southern Hospitality, communitarian identities, and genuine connections with neighbors are a few reasons I stay in the South.
Most Northerners have this idea of the South that is very different than the way of the South. It’s this idea that we live in a town without running water, power lines, and cell phone lines. Yet, somehow Doug Jones got elected by GOTV efforts that included 15,000 phone calls. Ev’ry body got a phone, now.
While the author sticks to the political structure of the Democratic Party, and the haunting reality of being black in the South, it is not a full picture. Like many things in life, there are nuances and new history being written, monuments built, and identities being empowered.
The Democratic Party has no stronghold here in Alabama, yet it is capable of being a purple state. Georgia has created an effort to look at its changing demographics through nonprofit and census work to start an effort to turn that state blue. That is also possible.
It is without merit to say anything is impossible. And the South isn’t as backwards as one assumes. There are millennials with a passion for social justice, black women who are working corporate jobs, and white blue collars in rural Alabama working in factories. You and I, New Yorkers, are not living in different realities. My reality may include a neighbor’s Southern drawl and kind demeanor while you may have a cussing neighbor who shouts at her dog in the middle of the night. I don’t know, I don’t live there.
The reality of being black in the South is also the reality of being black up North. Racism is easier to spot down here because it’s not subtle. While up North, it may be possible to be racist and have no one know. The argument I’ve always gone with is Southerners live their racism, Northerners love the collective, hate the individual.
But, the reality of the South is one full of families, friends, neighbors, and colleagues who work tirelessly to help each other. People go out of their way for each other. No one is to busy to help a friend. I’m not saying we live in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, but it’s a familiar world of slow paced small talk injected with college sports. Please see beyond the political and into the personal. If politics is about people, then it’s about more than living alongside people who agree with you but living alongside people who disagree with you but give you insight into their hearts and minds. Let’s do more of that.
David Anderson says
Nice retort to the Times piece. Liberals like myself jump en mass on the heads of racists and sexists yet in the same breath perpetuate stereotypes of Southerners as… well… you know.
That said, there are legitimate cultural differences which recently have been analysed through the lens of southern “honor culture” and explain some gaps in our understanding.
Great article.
D.A.
NYC
gaoshan says
After college I moved from Ohio to South Georgia and got to experience Southern Hospitality first hand on many occasions. Most memorable was pulling into a Georgia gas station with my U-Haul and having the clerk ask if I was a Yankee or a “Damn Yankee”. I said that I didn’t understand and she explained that a Yankee is there to visit, a damn Yankee to stay.
Then there was the time a taxi driver told me he wanted to “get me one of them” in reference to my Chinese wife. He said this in front of her. Or the lady who told me you really can’t trust “those people”, again about my wife. Never mind the door knocking religious zealots or the insane levels of public religious expression. Also heard a lot of angry ranting about rude northerners from southerners who didn’t seem aware of their own shortcomings in that area. Southern Hospitality, it turns out, is essentially a superficial politeness, if you are “one of them”
After a decade we left the South for good so guess I wasn’t a damn Yankee after all.
Jenny Oak Tree says
While I understand what you’re saying, adrian, democratic policies wont suddenly make people not racist, xenophobic, or anti-Semitic. Only education can. And that means meeting people like you and me, adrian. I’m sorry they treated your wife that way, but it’s not everyone. And most certainly, if you feel safer in nyc, I understand. However, democratic policies dont change the character of people. Only exposure to different people does that.
Adrian Tawfik says
oh sorry. that wasnt from me jenny. i dont have a wife. haha. i posted someone else’s comment for them. I guess i did it wrong!
Jenny Oak Tree says
Ok. No problem.
Meade Skelton says
I would say Florida and Texas are not really the South. Virginia is somewhat Southern, but once you get north of Stafford County it mainly just becomes an extension of Washington, D.C.