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You are here: Home / DC Authors / Bone Spurs Hobble Wartime President: Satire

Bone Spurs Hobble Wartime President: Satire

April 1, 2020 by Steve Schneider Leave a Comment

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Bone Spurs Hobble Wartime President: Satire
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump is resting in the White House today after a bone spur ailment from his youth flared today, a high-ranking government official said.

In a statement, the president’s physician gave more information.  It said Trump is “resting comfortably, with cabinet members taking turns massaging his tender feet between epsom salt baths. President Trump’s prognosis is good, and he is expected to continue working to help the nation deal with the Coronavirus pandemic.”

Earlier in the day, Vice President Pence denied reports that he planned to invoke the 25th Amendment, which would let Pence and a majority of cabinet officers declare Trump incapacitated or disabled.  Such a declaration, submitted to Congress, would put Pence in charge of the government until Trump recovers.

“The fake news media ought to be ashamed of itself,” Pence said, even though the report about the 25th Amendment appeared on a Twitter account linked to an overseas Russian troll farm, intelligence sources said.

Pence continued, “I personally saw the president’s feet as cabinet members took turns ministering to him.  They are huge, beautiful, virile feet.  Our president and our nation will continue to take things one step at a time, one day at a time.”

The 45th president, as a young man, was spared from the Vietnam War draft lottery because his wealthy father found a doctor to exempt him from combat due to a bone spur diagnosis. Trump has never provided proof that the medical condition existed.

The Republican president recently called himself a “wartime” leader as he confronts the Coronavirus pandemic that is spreading across the country, leading the world in documented infections.

Skeptical about the bone spur diagnosis, John Kerry, a former Democratic presidential nominee, who fought in the Vietnam War, challenged Trump to produce records to prove he has the malady.

“Our con artist president basically said Barack Obama was an illegal alien who did not legitimately serve our country as president,” Kerry said.  “He even demanded that Obama produce records to prove he was born in the United States.  Now the shoe is on the other foot.  Let Trump prove that he has bone spurs.”

Trump, in a trademark Twitter post, branded Kerry a “far-left, liberal, secular socialist who does not respect the American people.  Worse yet, he engages in petty, personal attacks at a time when the country is in crisis and needs leaders who put aside differences and act for the common good.”

Ironically, the president has lashed out at governors who have called on him to take action to give hard-hit hospitals the ventilators and personal protection equipment they need to deal with the pandemic.  He has suggested that those who upset him may face consequences.

Obama, reached for comment on this fast-moving story, merely said, “I pray for our president and our nation.”  Obama, the 44th president, who was replaced by Trump in a controversial election result, added, ” I also pray that President Trump will in fact put Americans first and politics last.”

The medical affliction flared after Trump signed an unprecedented $2.2 trillion Coronavirus relief bill with only Republican legislators by his side.

The Democratic-controlled House of Representatives and all Democratic Senators approved the legislation, although one GOP congressman tried to make passage more difficult.  His effort failed.

The final bill was different than the initial proposal by Senate Republicans.  That proposal provided less relief to regular Americans and stacked the legislation with more gifts to big business interests.

Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, who was snubbed and not invited to the signing ceremony, said, “I continue to pray for the president.  As President Trump has said, we are all sinners.”  She continued, “I have eternal hope that we can all change.”

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Filed Under: DC Authors Tagged With: Political Artwork, Republicans

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About Steve Schneider

Steve Schneider lives in Hollywood, Florida. Retired, he writes articles for Humor Times and Democracy Chronicles. He also enjoys some spare time following the zany exploits of authoritarian-leaning Florida politicians.

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