Trump and Putin exhibit the same autocratic power language that has also, for many years, oppressed women. This is an old, traditional power structure where arguments based on facts and discussions about justice are dismissed, and protests are seen as disruptive and inappropriate. They can only be addressed in ways that autocrats understand, not with peace populism.

Trump and Putin are like two immature boys playing a board game about conquering the world.  What Ukraine has endured is incomprehensible to us in Europe. In a school shooting in Örebro, Sweden, 11 people were killed by a lone murderer. The country was marked by this for weeks. In Ukraine, hundreds die every day. The trauma is boundless. The yearning for peace is just as boundless.

In Europe, calls for peace are raised instead of advocating for military escalation. Peace is achieved through give-and-take, as we know it in our democratic tradition, where diplomacy will light the way. Roger Waters, one of the leading musicians from the legendary band Pink Floyd, spoke via video link directly to the UN recently. He reminded us of how the Cuban Missile Crisis and the threat of an imminent world war were avoided because President Kennedy and Soviet leader Khrushchev communicated with each other over the phone. Waters imagines that dialogue between Putin and Trump could be just as successful. However, autocratic characters don’t work that way. Trying to achieve peace with imperialist autocracies, like Russia or the American government, is like reaching out to a crocodile—your hand will be bitten off. The Soviet Union and the USA were militarily equal during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, so the negotiation table was available, as was the maintenance of peace. Progressive peace advocates, as well as supporters of autocratic regimes are currently caught in a tangle of respect for Ukraine’s sovereignty, understanding of the West’s expansion as a partial explanation for Russia’s actions, and an instinctive, idealistic “no” to the rattling of nuclear weapons. It’s a mess because they refuse to understand how the autocratic sides operate.

Many women already recognize the autocratic nature, as it grows from the same root as the patriarchal one. The hierarchical order is seen as the natural order in the world, where those at the top—the patriarch—are the ones who rule. The one who owns the truth “in the house.” Before our era of gender equality in Europe, these power relations prevailed in society, and to some extent, they still do today. Historically, men and women viewed the world through the lens of male ideals. Male professions provided (and still provide) more money and status; men must have their sexual freedom; men knew more and better, and mansplaining was solemn and important, just as the priest’s sermon in the church was in earlier times when another form of power structure prevailed from the same root. Women who thought differently were seen as betraying the family and were ostracized. For the sake of domestic peace, for “peace’s” sake, it was best not to escalate arguments with threats of divorce or similar actions.

Patriarchy, imperialism, fascism, and narcissism are related. Those who think these are entirely different things fail to see the common ground—the power itself. It carries the same core no matter where or when it manifests. That is why we see how traditional male ideals are making a comeback alongside the far-right and autocratic Trump and Putin sympathizers.

Studies show that it is primarily women who oppose military build-ups. But they refuse to admit that there are no human or ethical reasons for autocrats or patriarchy to reduce their power. Autocrats only respect those who have the same strength and the same kind of mechanical male posture. Putin and Trump repeat what has always been said: Zelensky, stop making a fuss in the geopolitical house, you know your place, you’re ruining things for the geopolitical family with your whining, and you neither dress nor behave as you should.

The right to self-defense is a fundamental human right, whether the victim is a bullied boy on the schoolyard, a woman under the threat of violence, or a nation seeking to preserve its integrity. Asking them to sell out their respect is nothing more than peace populism.

In Sweden, there is an expression: “Speak to scholars in Latin and to farmers in the manner of farmers.” Now, it is important for Europe to speak to autocrats in the way autocrats understand. Europe’s announcement of investments in nuclear weapons for self-defense has already provoked reactions from Putin—good! But behind the rhetoric, one must keep a cool head and be able to fend off both Russophobia and Trump’s outbursts. It is time for Europe to unite, grow militarily, and clearly tell the world that we stand firm. We have a history of strength and integrity that must be built upon. It helps give Zelensky the only support autocrats understand, thereby creating the conditions for realistic peace negotiations, not peace populism.