Voting Selfie Defense

It seems ancient news now that voting season is over but rest not ye purveyors of political discourse and tomfoolery, the debate of the ballot selfie will be back in fashion soon enough. But let’s ask ourselves one very important question: why? While the subject didn’t cause the stir that other aspects of the last major election cycle did, it still managed to raise some eyebrows.

There are several states where this a non-issue but it should be one in all states. Of all the things to worry about during the course of an election ballot selfies should rank somewhere between how bad a candidate’s feet stink and their favorite Friends character. Simply, this shouldn’t be a thing to worry about in the least and should be a non-issue in all 50 states our blessed union.

The biggest argument in favor for banning these selfies is that it can lead to vote buying. That might be true, but to an extent that we should outlaw them? Don’t think so, bub. For this to happen on a level that would change outcomes (and don’t worry, Hitler didn’t really win an election by just one vote, so now you know you’re beloved 10th grade history teacher was wrong and your whole life has since been one enormous lie) the scheme would have to be done on such a massive scale that there would be no way for the ploy to escape public attention. Frown upon them. Ask people not do it. Try and shame them. These are all fine ways to discourage the ballot selfie, but making them outright illegal? This is tantamount to shutting down the entire theme park when the offending candy-bar shaped piece of feces was only found floating in the kiddie pool.

Let’s get one thing straight: ballot seflies (actually 99% of all selfies period) are silly. But hey, to each their own, right? I’d also rather set myself on fire than wear a “romphim” but I also don’t want to breach anyone else’s right to look extremely goofy. I mean, by all means, if you want, go ahead. But also, maybe, just don’t? Then again, what do we really expect? If the 2016 election taught us anything it’s that there’s enough voters out there who have lost all grasp on common sense.